Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was dealing with a horrible hormonal headache from annolvuatory bleeding. I was feeling so low and hopeless. Feeling that another child would probably not be in my future. What if something happened during my D&C that has caused an eternal issue? What if I’m not ovulating and chlomid doesn’t help? What if I have to go through IVF but can’t afford it? What if I’m just too old and don’t have any good eggs left? What if I do get pregnant but it ends in miscarriage like the last three times. The devil was working hard on me yesterday. I cried most of the day and felt so alone and helpless.
Then, God showed up. I ended up running into a woman I had never met before, we were making small talk, flu shots for our littles and so forth. Then she made the statement that needles don’t scare her because she’s been through fertility treatments. My ears opened, my eyes lit up and I said “Really? What was that like if you don’t mind me asking.” She then began to tell me that at a young age she was diagnosed with Polycistic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) AND Endometriosis. She grew up knowing she would never have children of her own and she had come to terms with that. Then she met her husband, and he desperately wanted his own child. As any loving wife would, she began fertility treatments to please her husband, all the while knowing this would never happen for them. A year or two down the road, they were told, they could keep trying, but this probably is not going to work. They decided to try one more time, and guess what? They got pregnant. She now has a beautiful 18 month old little girl.
I know that God put this woman in my life for a reason. He knew I needed to hear her story. It gave me hope. It helped me to stop thinking so negatively and to put my trust and faith back in him. I went home last night and cried. Not tears of sadness like I had earlier in the day, but tears of thankfulness. Thankful that God heard me, that he showed me that even though people may tell me this may never happen, that things aren’t looking good. That HE can make all things happen IN HIS TIME. What an amazing, loving God we serve! He shows up friends! When we are at our lowest, feeling the worst, and losing what hope we have. HE SHOWS UP, again and again.
“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18