As I sit here getting closer and closer to week 14, 15, 16 etc.  I am beyond joyful and thankful for so many things.  Obviously, number one being this pregnancy and that I’ve made it past my last 3 miscarriage weeks.  Eight, Ten, and Twelve.  But, I am also thankful for the journey I took to get here.  The sadness.  The struggles.  The losses.  No, I am not glad I lost any of those precious babies.  But, because of my journey, I now have a life to look forward to after this life on earth.  Before my miscarriages, before the pain and heartache.  I was just a girl, living a life that I thought was my best life.  I was a believer in God and Jesus because of my mother and growing up in church.  But it was not something I practiced.  Not something I took very seriously or even thought about daily.  I prayed, every now and then, and mostly to ask for something and rarely to thank him for anything.  But going through what I went through changed me.  For the first time in my life, I felt a gravitational pull towards God and his word.  As happy as I seemed, I didn’t realize how lost I really was.  And with every miscarriage, every doctor visit, every bad news we got, I got closer and closer to him.  My faith got stronger and my life completely changed.  That’s why I can look back now and be thankful for my struggles, because it’s what ultimately brought me back to him.  It’s what saved me. Before, I was living for this life on earth.  But now, I am living for my eternal life.  The one with my Lord and Savior.  The one where I will get to hold those precious lost babies.  How amazing is that??  To know that they will not just be babies that I mourn and never see again.  I will see them again.  And I will get a chance to hold them, love them, and have what I didn’t get a chance to have on this earth.  Without them, I wouldn’t be the person God knew I could be.  So no matter what struggles you are going through. Whatever hardship you’re experiencing, don’t lose hope.  Because the bigger your storm, the brighter your rainbow.