Can you imagine someone who has been imprisoned or held captive for many years, how they must feel when they are finally let go? How it must feel to have the sun on their face, ankles and hands free of bondage? After so many years of being restrained, confined, and anxious to finally feeling that freedom. That huge sigh of relief. That weight lifted off your shoulders. That amazing feeling is how I felt when I finally said “Enough. God, I give my life to you. You are in control. May your will be done. No matter what good or bad I may face, I know you will be there.”
Growing up, like a lot of people, I didn’t have the best child hood. My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade and we were in a nasty, volatile custody battle over the next 7 years. Due to these circumstances, my siblings and I rebelled in every way possible. We had parents that cared more about hurting each other than to focus on what was really going on in their kids life. So as many children do when they feel invisible, they lash out in hopes of someone noticing. This behavior continued through my high school, college, and even young adult years. I was a huge partier, drinker, and wasn’t the most kind person to people. Mostly because I was angry with life and the cards I was dealt so I took it out on others as if it was their fault. I did begin to settle down a bit in my late 20’s but I still felt constricted, lost, alone, restrained. But when I finally found a church that didn’t judge me for my past, that never swept things under the rug, that loved me despite my faults, my life began to change. I found a church that told their own stories of fault and past mistakes and how God saved them. A church that made me feel like I was worth something. When I finally gave my life to Christ, I felt freedom. True freedom is found in Christ Jesus. Sin, worldly desires, fear, and temptation are all things that can keep us in bondage from that freedom. Feeling like we aren’t worthy. We’ve done too much bad to be good. But thanks to the Son of God, who gave his life for us, we can have that freedom, that feeling of worth, the good life we’ve always wanted. He is the good shepherd, and the good shepherd sacrifices his life for his sheep.
The hard part? Letting him. Stop trying to control your life. Stop leading with your heart and emotions. Your heart can lie to you, deceive you, and make you blind to what is actually good for you. Do you know what doesn’t lie? Ever? God’s word. Pick it up, and read it. Pray more often. Ask the Holy Spirit to take the lead in your life. Just like the old saying goes, “No one said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.” You just have to let go, and let God.
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Yes, many can relate to what you are saying, but many don’t do what you did. Prayer can be a hard thing to do at times. Your heart just may not be in it. Someone said that’s when you pray a little harder. God hears you regardless, but we don’t hear ourselves. But if we pray harder. we will. too.
Isn’t God wonderful?
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