I’ve been having a difficult time writing lately. I began this blog to share my struggles with infertility and repeated miscarriages in hopes of helping others and letting other women know they aren’t alone. It was so therapeutic for me and I really felt like God led every post I shared with you all. New Years Eve I found out I was pregnant again. Today I’m 27 weeks along with a healthy baby girl. I am so thankful that God has taken care of this sweet girl and given me another chance to be a mother. But, I am struggling now with what to write about. I could write about how difficult this pregnancy has been especially compared to my first full term pregnancy. I could talk about how this time, I hate being pregnant. How the heartburn makes me feel like one of the dragons on Game of Thrones. How the hemorrhoids have been so unbearable I need one of those old lady donuts to sit on. How the leg cramps and restless leg causes me to wake up 6-7 times a night having to walk around my house to get them to stop. I could write about these things. I could write page after page after page. But every time I so much as think about them, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt. For two years I suffered multiple miscarriages and then struggled with infertility. Night after night I cried and begged God for a chance to give my daughter a sibling. And he did. Only to have me complain and whine about how awful this experience has been to people who would kill for the chance to be in my shoes?? How do I write about that? How do I write about anything? Please don’t get me wrong, I could not be more thankful for this baby. That every appt we’ve had, I have received wonderful news. I KNOW it’ll be worth it in the end even if I’m completely miserable right now. If I would have known that this pregnancy would be like this, I would 100% still go through with it in a heartbeat. If it were worse than what I’m dealing with right now, I would STILL go through with it because God is giving me a blessing. Another sweet precious little girl to hold, rock, feed, and join her very excited big sister. But that is why I haven’t written lately. Guilt. I don’t want to complain about this opportunity. I don’t want to sound unappreciative. I don’t want to upset any of my followers who are still trying just to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I want to be a light. A light of hope. That no matter what circumstance you’re facing in your struggle to start a family, that it CAN happen. All in God’s perfect timing. I want you to know that without the struggle I wouldn’t be where I am today in my walk with God. That no walk of life is easy. But, it’s easier when God is on your side. So despite all the negative things I’m feeling, I know they are only temporary. And that my little blessing will be long lasting and my walk with God is everlasting.