Ready for Battle

Week 10.  Test week.  Since in the “baby making world” I’m considered old (cringe) for having a baby, there are a multitude of test and procedures that have to be done that didn’t when I had N almost four years ago.  I’m only 36.  But, having a baby after 35 is considered high risk.  And…

A Week at a Time

Yesterday, I hit the 9 week mark.  Each day, and especially week, that goes by I get more and more excited.  When you’ve had three miscarriages, each one tends to reply in your mind on a daily basis and it’s hard to stop and be joyful and excited about a pregnancy that may not last. …

Thy Will Be Done

Morning sickness.  Week 6 hit me like a ton of bricks. In all 5 of my pregnancies, the sickness has been the worst this go round.  But, the past few days, it’s really lightened up a bit.  I’ve felt more like myself than I have in a couple weeks and I’ve been able to walk…

Year of Freedom

Coming into 2018 I was pregnant with what was eventually my 3rd miscarriage.  What a way to start off the new year right?  But, I have to say that even though I began the year with another failed pregnancy, I was still hopeful. 2018 was my year for Freedom. Freedom from fears and anxieties that…

Stars Can Not Shine Without Darkness

A year ago today, I was pregnant with what would ultimately be my third miscarriage. I was scared, sad, and felt so alone.  “How could this be happening to me again”, I remember thinking.  I look back over this past year and can see the growth of the person God knew I could be.  Through…

When God Shows Up

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was dealing with a horrible hormonal headache from annolvuatory bleeding. I was feeling so low and hopeless. Feeling that another child would probably not be in my future. What if something happened during my D&C that has caused an eternal issue? What if I’m not ovulating and…

One of those days

It’s hard to want to write or basically do anything when you’re waking up with a headache every single day. Hormones….I hate you. Surge of estrogen they call it, yet it feels like a surge of little jack hammers going to town on my head. It’s hard to focus, work, be in a room with…

Patience is a virtue…one I seem to lack

  Every time I read it, the voice behind it is the lady from Steel Magnolias wearing the tight girdle that harps at Dolly Parton for eating cake. “Calories, Calories!” “Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue.”  CRINGE!!   I have always been fast-paced.  I’m constantly going, going, going and never stopping.  I’m not a…

A thief in the night

During my wait to get pregnant again and to have another precious baby, my faith in God has gotten stronger with each day, with each failed test, and with each month that starts over. I know that God has a plan for me.  I know that my wait is teaching me something.  I’m doing my…

My journey begins now …

Well here it is. My first blog. I can’t even believe I’ve actually started a blog when just a year ago I was reaching out to my friend Jolene asking exactly what a blog was! I mean, I’m not COMPLETELY clueless. I knew it was a place where people wrote about certain things and people…